I feel that the local press have got completely the wrong end of the stick and have gone on accusing him of stealing from the tax payers he is supposed to represent. So I wrote to the Gazette in attempt to put the record straight.
Some years ago I attended a Rotary do with the Beast, even then we were not really talking but carried on our social functions as a happily married etc. Anyway Sir Reginald was also attending. We were holding the do in the demountable behind, as it was then, Safeway in the town, which has now become a ghastly Morrisons. Sir Reginald was late, he got lost in the town centre, I know he does have trouble finding time to visit the constituency and has got lost before. But I realise he is busy with state affairs and the like which keep him from our little town.
Well he was in very good spirits that night, the life and soul of the party. About half way through poor Mrs Chesterfield was taken queer. Said she had trouble breathing, which I can well believe in the dress she was almost wearing. Well with one bound Sir Reginald was there by her side and insisted that she walk round the car park with him.
They must have been gone a good twenty minutes I finally bumped into them in the porch coming in, I was on the way out to the little girls room, I use the one in Safeway, the facilities in the demountable being far from satisfactory. Mrs Chesterfield still appeared quite flushed, It was then I noticed that Sir Reginald had been walking around with his fly undone. How very absent minded I thought. Oh and I want to make it clear that I am not in the habit of looking at a gentleman's nether regions, but my eyes were in that general direction as I was looking for my brolly, it had come onto rain and I had no intention of getting my twinset wet negotiating the car park.
Anyway to come to the point he was a very fine MP and I for one shall miss him. I'm not too sure who the new one will be, so long as he's not a boy I shan't mind. Oh well goodnight dear diary.
