Then she takes an idle glance at the hoover which I have taken the trouble to leave out for her and she's off telling me about some wedding she attended at the weekend. Her sister's half daughter's niece or someone, I try not to listen. The jist of which involved her Raymond, a man of few words, disgracing himself.
According to Barbara he said "Come on Babs get stuck in I've just been to the bar and all the booze is free" she said that within the hour he was very much the worst for wear. She told me the happy couple had put on a lovely spread, it was one of those cold buffet things, there were little sandwiches of every description and vol-au-vent's and everything Mrs W. Including it would seem a whole dressed salmon. she said "It looked like it had been to Church, it was so pretty."
Then she said before she could stop Raymond he had staggered to the table. "I just knew what would happen next, I rushed toward him Mrs W but I was too late, he was most violently ill, most of it went over the salmon, the vol-au-vent's were hardly touched so they could have been salvaged or something but instead the groom bodily removed my Raymond from the reception."
I didn't really know what to say to her, I decided to murmur 'How very unfortunate' and I slowly backed away tripping over the blessed hoover. "I'd put that away if I were you Mrs W" before I could say anything her mobile telephone went off and she was suddenly in deep conversation with one or other of her ghastly family.
I do wonder why I keep her on? Oh well goodnight dear diary.
